5 Men You Shouldn't Settle For

I read an article this morning that really, really related to me. It was entitled "10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry". Here's a link: http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/fire-in-my-bones/19757-10-men-christian-women-should-never-marry . In this article, the author writes about ten different types of men that Christian women should avoid and how it's better to be single than to be with one of these men. I think that this article could be applied to women AND men (provided they're interested in men) alike, regardless of what their religious preferences are.

Being a single, college educated woman in the deep South, older people are always wondering why I haven't settled down and gotten married. There's this expectation of getting married right out of college and having babies shortly thereafter that I just do not understand. (Unless, of course, you met your soul mate in college and married him right after, an experience which 2 of my friends have been blessed with.) If I meet a man of QUALITY that I don't feel like I'm SETTLING for, then I would love to marry him...when I'm good and ready for it.  Not because I'm in my mid-twenties and that is what people in South Carolina do at this age.

Anyhow, the article I read has inspired me to make my own list of men that NO ONE should settle for. These men are NOT quality.

1.) The Liar--if he's lied about anything in his past or tries to hide or cover any secrets that he has from you, then he is not worth your time. He will continue to lie to you...this will NOT change.

2.) The Manwhore--if he sleeps around a lot, who's to say he won't sleep around when he's dating you?  Lots of girls like to think they can "change" guys like this...I, on the other hand, only trust them as far as I can throw them.

3.) The Eternal Fratboy, aka the Manchild--He wakes up at 12 pm. on weekdays; he sits on his couch all day and plays video games while chugging beer and smoking weed with his bros; his house is a mess of beer bottles and laundry he has his mother do for him. If he's a grown man who lives like he's still in college, he will never be able to take care of you.

4.) The Angry Drunk--or just anyone with anger issues. I've watched enough "Investigation Discovery" TV to steer clear of men, or people in general, like that.

5.) The Narcissist--This type of guy is usually really attractive, which seems like a good thing, until you realize how much he KNOWS it.  He hangs out at the gym for hours every single day working on his physique, then posts countless shirtless selfies on Instagram and Facebook so people can admire his abs of steel. Beware of this guy...he will never love you as much as he loves himself.

The sad thing is that a lot of men fall into more than one of these categories. I feel like I should insert a Liz Lemon "That's a Dealbreaker, Ladies!" gif in here somewhere.

Ladies (and gentlemen), we are much better off single than settling for someone who is not a quality guy. Don't ever lower your standards...eventually someone will meet them--even if you're 50 when it finally happens. Even Liz Lemon eventually found her Criss Chros.

The Sad Reality

Recently, the county I live in, a usually quiet and undisturbed corner of the world, has been getting some nationwide recognition. Not for its beautiful oak trees, parks, or beaches, but for having a trashy reality television show filmed here. Being a reasonably intelligent person with very little patience/tolerance for drunken people acting like idiots, I couldn't bring myself to watch an entire episode. Though, before I could make a snap judgment about "Party Down South"--yes, that's the name--I watched a few clips of the show. Obviously, I was kind of grossed out and actually felt sorry for these people for acting so foolish on national television. (FACT: there's a slightly older, creepy guy on there that the younger girls actually call "Daddy"-see man in muscle tee above.) But, hey, stupidity and promiscuity sell--just think about how much money the people from "Jersey Shore" have right now.

It made me think about if I were on a reality TV show. They always have those tiny rooms where one person goes in and talks crap about everyone/confesses things to the camera. It would be hysterical to see what people like Snooki or "Daddy"would have to say about me...."That Meredith chick is soooo bizarre. She goes to bed at, like, 9:30 every night. What an old woman!" Or "Why doesn't Meredith ever go out with us? When she does, she just looks pissed off, and like she'd rather be at home reading by herself." Also, "Meredith is cute but she seriously needs to loosen up. (That one I've actually heard in real life!) And what's with all the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings references?" All in all, I would probably make for an incredibly drama free reality show...I would never be the fan favorite, and no one would appreciate my wittiness. Maybe I would be painted as a frigid bitch because I would never stoop so low as to actually talk to the other people in the house? :)

Songs I Wish Were Written About Me.

It's been a suuuuper long time since I wrote anything...mostly because I've been reading Lord of the Rings, which is a good but extremely long read. I literally just finished the first book, a month later. Also, I've been busy being a teacher, being an introvert/hermit, and watching "The Walking Dead", so I haven't been focusing on writing my thoughts very much...I'm just saying them aloud to myself like an insane person. But enough about my sad life...

I've been thinking a lot about music...and my weakness for musicians/writers. (Especially certain bearded banjo players...ahem, Winston Marshall, marry me!) I also think it's probably one of my life goals to have a song written about me...swoon! It's not like you can ask someone to write a song about you though; you have to do something really awesome to become a muse. I have yet to do anything so awesome that would make me a muse, unless someone is writing a song entitled "Awkward Girl Across the Bar Who Makes Strange Facial Expressions and Only Drinks Wine". Alas, that is incredibly specific and I would probably be the only person who would download it on iTunes. Plus, subtlety and metaphors go a long way in songwriting. I have compiled a list of songs I wish were written about/for me, so songwriting sexy men, take note:

1.) "Swept Away" by the Avett Brothers. Banjo, beards (you can't see them, but you can imagine them), need I say more? Also, the lyrics are pretty sweet.
Swept Away by The Avett Brothers

2.) "She Is" by Ben Rector. I really hope this song could be about me, except that I'm not from Boston.
She Is by Ben Rector

3.)"Make You Feel My Love" by Bob Dylan. Pretty sure this is THE most romantic song written. I'm linking a cover because Bobby D doesn't have the best voice.
"Make You Feel My Love" by Bob Dylan (Adele covering)

4.)"Everything" by Michael Buble. It's Michael Buble...I mean, MY GOD.
Everything by Michael Buble

5.)"Whatever It Is" by Zac Brown Band. This one doesn't need to be explained.
Whatever It Is by ZBB

6.)"Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. I don't think this song ever gets old. Freshman year of college, what up!
Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

7.) "She's Everything" by Brad Paisley. This man can write a love song like no other. This song makes me wish I had brown hair.
She's Everything by Brad Paisley

8.) "The Way You Look Tonight" performed by Frank Sinatra. "That laugh that wrinkles your nose, it touches my foolish heart" is so much better than "you're hot". Classic.
The Way You Look Tonight-Frank Sinatra

The Anti-Mr. Darcy Effect

Recently, I was watching Pride and Prejudice (one of my top 10 favorite movies and books), and I got to thinking about two different kinds of men in this world--granted, not the only two, because this is a big world and I know there are MANY different kinds, but for the sake of this post, I'm discussing only two--the Mr. Darcy-esque men and the Mr. Wickham-esque men.

It's every girl's dream to meet her Mr. Darcy...he seems like a jerk at first, but is actually good and true and kind and you can "bewitch him body and soul". (There's a whole group of people like Mr. Darcy, the ones who are stand-offish at first but aren't actually rude or prideful once you give them a chance--they're called introverts. I understand because I am one, and I probably relate more to Darcy than Elizabeth.)  It takes Mr. Darcy longer to decide to reveal his true self, which is fine.  He wants to make sure you are worthy of his trust before he opens up and shows he has a heart.

On the other hand, there are the Mr. Wickhams of this world. These men seem friendly and fun-loving at first but turn out to be swindlers, womanizers, sadists, misogynists, etc. Basically, they seem nice initially but reveal themselves to be completely full of crap. I call this the "Anti-Mr. Darcy Effect". Rather than seeming like a jerk at first, like Darcy, the Mr. Wickhams seem awesome at first but end up being jerks in the end.

Unfortunately, the true Darcy men of this world seem to be in shorter supply than the Wickhams.  If only the Mr. Wickham types would show their true nature from the very beginning, we could run for the hills and save ourselves a lot of heartache and bitter resentment--unless you're like Lydia Bennet and you're into that crap. But as is, I guess figuring out people's intentions as you're getting to know them is part of the fun.

7 TV Men that Girls Wish Were Real

They're fictitious. They're adorable. Why don't these guys exist in real life?

1.) Chandler Bing. He's hilarious. He's hopeless and awkward and desperate for love. We're perfect for each other.

2.) Seth Cohen. He's a quirky, hot, comic book nerd who listens to good music and rides a skateboard. These don't come along often.

3.) Ted Mosby--because who doesn't want a guy who steals a blue french horn for them? (Never mind the awkwardness of saying "I love you" on the first date.)

4.) Jim Halpert. He's a great practical joker, a romantic, and the dude waited like 3 years to finally get out of the friend zone. HERO.

5.) Matthew Crawley. Inherits Downton Abbey and a crap ton of money, still works as a lawyer because he wants to help the less fortunate. Swoon.

6.) Nick Miller. He's scruffy, he's sarcastic, he has no ambition, he's crippled with fear of commitment...oh wait, this guy does exist. We've probably all dated him. (Except that Nick Miller is far more adorable and lovable. With better facial expressions.)

7.) James "Sawyer" Ford. He's the perfect bad boy. He's Southern. He likes to read classic literature in his spare time. He could call you "Freckles" or some other cute nickname. He could protect you from the smoke monster. We could overlook the whole con-man thing.

LA Adventures

Ahhh...the "city of angels", so ironically named. I now believe I have experienced "the" LA scene. My first night, I went to an art show called "Sweat Baby Sweat". Walking into it reminded me of going into my first college party, except for instead of everyone trying to fit in with the frat guys/sorority girls,  everyone was trying to fit in by being as quirky and weird as possible. (What happened to just being yourself?) Instead of everyone wearing polo shirts and sundresses, like they would be on my home planet, these strange new people were wearing leather jackets, combat boots, half shaved heads, Fresh Prince style patterned shirts, cool vintage dresses, etc. I was highly intrigued! But, I think I stood out like a sore thumb. First of all, I looove to eat. (No vegan/vegetarianism going on with this gal!) Second of all, I enjoy washing and styling my hair. Third, I love wearing fun, extremely girly dresses. I think my only saving grace was my awkward demeanor and "hipster" glasses. I'm too quirky for SC, not nearly quirky enough for these people.
Almost immediately, I was faced with a dilemma: are all these artsy LA guys just extremely fashionably dressed/metro sexual or are they gay? (Typically, in SC, if they're male and super fashionable, they're likely gay.)  I found the best way to break these stereotypes is to just bite the bullet and flirt with the guy. My night ended in a quite LA fashion...the extremely sexy, well-dressed guy turned out to just be a really fashionable budding artist, who got my number and took me to a studio to check out some of his art/sculptures. Meow! Except he never called me...typical. It's the experience that's cool, right?
Anyhow, the rest of my trip to LA included cruising in Beverly Hills, shopping at the Grove, going with my model friend to one of her auditions (don't try this if you want to feel good about yourself), eating extremely expensive "organic" meals (shoot me. I also actually purchased an all organic, fresh pressed smoothie as well. Shoot me again. When in Rome?), walking around Echo Park, and visiting Fox studios. My all time favorite thing that I did, however, was completely free. Hiking up to the Griffith Observatory in Los Feliz was by far the most awesome thing EVER. If you ever go to LA, don't bother hiking up to the Hollywood sign. You can see it perfectly from the Observatory, and the Observatory is cooler--in my humble opinion. (I have included pictures to prove my point.) Until next time!

View from my friend's house in West Hollywood

On set at UFC tonight

The Griffith Observatory-too big to fit in the picture

Griffith observatory from the hike

The iconic Hollywood sign

Echo Park

OMG Or-gah-nic

Another thing I have noticed since being in Southern California is the obsession with being "green" and eating "organic".  It seems like many here are what we in the South refer to as "foodies".  Since it is "cool" to consume food that my dear Ron Swanson would refer to as "rabbit food", you do it. It doesn't matter that wheatgrass or quinoa or kale (which I have lovingly dubbed "Broccoli's hipster cousin") have been eaten by people for literally hundreds of years, we MUST consume them now that they are trendy!

This started because I was in Beverly Hills with my family and asked my friend (who is a model in LA) where to go eat. She suggested some place called "Urth" that was all organic with "fresh pressed juices", etc. etc.  I laughed and said that I doubted that my father, a normal, red-blooded South Carolinian male, would want to go eat a salad and some fresh-pressed juice. She responded by jumping down my throat and lecturing ME about GMOs (an acronym I do not understand nor care to look up) and other things I don't really remember. Rather than eating a fully non-organic bacon cheeseburger in protest, I decided to make an informed decision by trying something from the "fresh pressed juicery" near the non-organic restaurant my dad chose to eat at. Well, I should say I ALMOST bought something, until I saw that a soda-can-sized bottle of juice was a whopping $7.58! It would be more cost-efficient for me to go plant my own trees, wait on the fruit to grow, and press it myself!  I ended up going next door and buying 2 cupcakes from Sprinkles for less than that amount--and they were DELICIOUS!

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for eating healthy and avoiding preservatives, etc. etc. I am not, however, for casting judgments on people who don't OR for paying three times as much for something that tastes the exact same simply because the label says "organic".  Perhaps if I were an actress or a desperate housewife living in Cali, I would have the extra cash to pay for only organic products. (If organic really is the healthiest way to go, they shouldn't make it so dang expensive!) As it is, I am a lowly teacher who may occasionally splurge on a $2.99 Naked Juice from the Fresh Market--and I HATE quinoa.